Friday, February 23, 2007

final standings forecast/free-time tips on bloopers


forget about "coming out of the closet" vs. "coming out of the mouth".
forget about "the injustice" - d-howard receiving only 42 points for his 'sticker jam'.
forget about last sunday's lame 'gold dunk city'.
forget about las vegas' (great) weekend.
forget about d-wade injury and its consequences for this season.
forget about yesterday's dead trade deadline.
do NOT forget about a great dennis johnson, who died just yesterday, but that's just another
story.

i received an email with the following question: "can you make your predictions on the nba final
standings 2006-07? thanx. roman, kosice."
okay, here's my take, although... in my last blog i predicted dirk nowitzki as the mvp of asg and
he ended up with 9 pts... but it's just standings.

east
1 // pistons
2 // cavaliers
3 // wizards
4 // raptors
5 // bulls
6 // pacers
7 // nets
8 // heat
9 // knicks
10 // magic
11 // hawks
12 // bobcats
13 // bucks
14 // 76ers
15 // celtics

west
1 // mavericks
2 // suns
3 // spurs
4 // jazz
5 // rockets
6 // lakers
7 // nuggets
8 // hornets
9 // clippers
10 // warriors
11 // timberwolves
12 // kings
13 // supersonics
14 // trail blazers
15 // grizzlies

let's move to the bloopers section...
btw, watch these two youtube vids and be (extremely) happy:
1 -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9__KJY0AfHY
2 -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGiZkFy_1Mw
(the first video, 'worst nba dunks by dwaderulz3', features five worst "dunks" in the history of
slam dunk contest.
this is the most entertaining video i have ever experienced.
it has to be.
i had this feeling for 14 hours of one day, but all in all, it belongs to the pantheon of "craziest
videos ever".
try to stop laughing when they comment those "he could see through the blindfold" (cedric
ceballos, 1992), "tim perry was the most unenthusiastic dunker in the whole competition" (1993),
"straight three, next contestant" and the faces of iverson and garnett (larry hughes, 2000),
"and here's another one, mahmoud abdul-rauf"(1993) AND...
...enjoy that number one, "and the worst of all... he takes a lay-up in a dunk contest!" darrell
armstrong (1996) and try to stop laughing now.
i think it may be unwholesome, seriously... but this one is for ages.
the highlight of the second one, 'vincent smith's top 5 training tips by goodfather56' is tnt crew
joking about lamar odom's "what is he thinking" faux pas.
and that raised give-me-the-ball hand of smush parker &"what the fuck" face of coach phil j. -
unbelievable... thank you god for the game of basketball.
plus the tips:
- "always foul a jump shooter"
- "run with scissors"
- "look one way when crossing a street"
- "bite the hands that feeds you"
- "eat yellow snow"
very, very hilarious, too.
i should have written a complete one article about it... what a shame... enjoy it.)

btw2, read this joke by my streetball buddy:
-a reporter: hey kobe, what about tony parker being a laker?
-kobe: yeah, i like him, it'd be great. he's a great poker player and he's small.
-a reporter: and what about tim duncan?
-kobe: yep, i like him too, but he's only a good poker player and he's big.
and i have thought that i'm the worst joker, worldwide.

btw3, i prepared you for this - the asg isn't so bad, but charley rosen is more right than wrong
(again) in his 'straight shooting: all-star game is lame' article:
the all-star game is a joke.
nobody plays defense (except for trying to block shots as dramatically as possible), sets screens
or makes any kind of body-to-body contact.
the only score the players really care about is the degree of difficulty of their shots.
it's sloppy, flashy, trashy basketball.
letting the fans pick the starters has reduced the prestige of making the squads to zilch.
used to be that being named a starter was a great honor simply because the five were voted by
the league's coaches.
nowadays the selection process has been reduced to a popularity contest that's created in part by
the public relations hype spewed by ball clubs backing their own candidates.
(btw, then why all the fans pick tim duncan when everyone claims he's BORING?! i don't get this
one. just pick t-mac, kobe, melo, matrix, amare vs. wade, carter, lebron, bosh, d-howard and
enjoy that 'lame gold dunk city'.
dunk.
jam.
dunk.
jam.
dunk.
jam.
dunk.
jam.
it's fun, isn't it?!)
the justification for getting the fans involved is that the starters are the players the fans want to
see.
want to see doing what?
performing an upscale imitation of rucker league ball with the same meaningless razzle-dazzle?
bah!
the fans are presumably also clamoring to see the "race" between charles barkley and dick
bavetta (note by fics: a funny race).
but why stop there?
why not dress don nelson, george karl and jeff bower (the hornets' heavyweight gm) in bikini
thongs and have them compete in a break dance contest?
or have all the coaches and gms with artificial knees or hip joints enter a walker race?
humbug!
the all-star game is only half a game.
imagine the baseball all-star game with no fielders.
or the nhl gala with no goalies.
how about the nfl's postseason all-star extravaganza with no defensive backs?
would these games be "fun" or just trivial gimmicks to attract ratings?
i'd much rather watch memphis play boston.

btw4, see this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9foxNocL4I - 'nba funny bloopers mix by
pavvy' or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-xHTtVxMUc&NR - 'nba bloopers by pipo' or
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoIRQQPGxK0&NR - 'awful airballs and bizarre screwups by
koberaza'.
have fun!

p.s.: *i'm already playing with gary payton and shaq, two guys i used to play with on video
games.
to add scottie pippen to the mix, that would be crazy,* said dwyane wade on pippen's possible
return to the nba.
p.s.2: *i think we should not put gregg popovich as the coach here.
i think that would be crazy,* said tony parker on if las vegas eventually does get an nba team.

Posted by Foreigner in CS - Feb 23 2007 10:45AM

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