Have you heard about the possible NBA returns of various basketball kings?
If you were GM or president of baskeball operations and if you ever wanted to win the gold, aka NBA Championship & rings, you should do it with those hoopsters. You have almost no weaknesses, you have all-stars galore. Nothing would stop 'em, everybody in the way would be beaten. Welcome to the Hall-of-Fame Team.
At point guard, you have Penny Hardaway. He's a one-on-one beast, a very good team leader and ball-handler with extraordinary leaping ability. A starting item on this invincible team. You don't want such a special player on your rival's club. His backcourt mate is Reggie Miller. A running shooting guard machine who shoots from beyond the arc as easy as to throw an apple to the ocean. He's got a veteran know-how from his innumerable playoff battles and an unbreakable heart.
Who's small forward? That's clear, Scottie Pippen. A multiple NBA Champion and one of the best all-time two-way players, he's this team's lock-down defender, an athletic freak on offense and a hustling warrior. He's simply an all-round star. Power forward slot is occupied by Shawn Kemp, whose athleticism or quick moves would force opponets to wince. With an unforgettable array of dunks, he's a fan favorite and the team's big low-post threat. Add rebounds, blocks and you have your great big man. Since this team has a plenty of scorers, center has to be Charles Oakley, a bonafide role player. A hard banger and lane-defender, he's an intimidating force. No way you can geteasy buckets when he's in the
middle. Plus able to hit mid-range shots.
So when our coach pulls out these starters, opponents can breathe easily? Hell no. Our subs are ready.
Nick Van Exel is backing up Penny. Quick like a speeding bullet, can knock down clutch shots and is a wonderful three-point shooter. NVE knows how to run a team - that makes him a floor general of the second unit. Allan Houston bothers adversaries in the 2nd quarter. He serves as a marksman/sharpshooter, and he always delivers the goods - points. As a spark off the bench, he can ride his defender to desperation with his deadly jumper. Screen, shot, basket.
When the name of Latrell Sprewell comes up, you know those who try to stop him are in trouble. His precise hand and streak shooting makes him as dangerous as flying insects. He's surely capable of ligthing up a scoreboard, but is a complete player, too. Then we have Toni Kukoc, The Croatian Sensation, off the bench. Big clutch-shooter, great team player and one of the cleverest guys on the hardwood ever. He doesn't need tons of playing time, but if he has his chance, he just does it right. Tony Massenburg, an experienced bruiser and the team's hard worker, is Oak's back-up. He doesn't need lot of touches, but is active enough to get some garbage points around the rack. Don't want to mess up with him, baby.
The 11th and 12th men are frontcourt guys Antonio Davis and Keith Van Horn. The former is known for his inside presence, the latter for his outside skills and stroke. Always ready to compete, these guys make your team the deepest in the league.
***
An ESPN reporter Sam Alipour revealed in his last special column that some of other 12 retired players would make a CB if their various demands are met. Alipour talked with the likes of (we can entitle this group 'The Maybes') Kareem A-J, Mark Eaton, Nate McMillan, Mychal Thompson, Danny Manning, Paul Silas (started to play as a pro in 1964), Craig Hodges, Eddie Johnson, Jud Buechler, Kenny Anderson, Jonathan Bender, Mark Price and Dennis Worm Rodman. (Man, would be a solid bunch of guys who could serve as our practice squad in scrimmages.)
Alipour: What would it take to get you suit up next season?
Kareem: I think you should get your pulse checked. I'm 60 years old.
Eaton: Get me bionic parts. Specifically, I'd need a right knee, a couple of vertebrae and, oh yeah, a year's supply of steroids.
Hodges: From '92 until now, nobody shoots the ball better than I did. (Wow Craig! I want ya on my team, baby!)
EJ: I can still outshoot anybody in the NBA. (Eddie, join Craig and shoot for my club!)
Buechler: The only things I miss about the NBA are per diem and naps.
Worm: I don't give a fuck. I'm still playing around the world, having a good time.
Back to our team.
***
June. NBA Finals. Lights are switched on. Pride and rings are on the line. Highly competitive games. Sneakers squeak. Fans cheer. Plays are called. Offense attacks. Defense chokes. Adrenaline rushes. Thrills. Joy. Grief. Last game, our team won. C'ship is ours!
Yes, these players would form one of the best teams in the NBA history... ten years ago. That's why, some of them should not attempt their comebacks next season. You know, NBA season marathon is too hard and brings a vast physical strain to player's body. According to one of my older friends, there are Three Things You Shouldn't Do After Your 35th Birthday:
1) to tell your (over-35-yrs old) wife, "I wanna have the 3rd child with ya"
2) to worry about the lack of party-time
3) to attempt an NBA comeback
Craig Hodges: *Reggie, last time I saw you hoopin' on the NBA level, you got your motherfucking shot blocked on a breakaway layup that you didn't dunk.* That means no, Reggie. And I'm not saying some miracle can't happen, but sorry Penny, it's too late. After all, it's 2007. Not '97.
Just for fun, let's hope that someday, we'll see the comeback of Dr. J or Human Highlight Film. As my buddy George told, *Would they see the rim at all?*
Breaking News: Doug Christie is attempting an NBA comeback. *I can't wait to get back to the NBA and show people what /new parts of his game/ I've discovered,* he said.
p.s.: ime udoka signed with spurs! i told you so!!
p.s.2: if i had to give a grade for hardaway's signing with miami it would be a W (for wishful thinking).
(-charley rosen)
Posted by Foreigner in CS - Aug 17 2007 12:48PM
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