Friday, December 01, 2006

first-ever basketball mailpouch

should the timberwolves trade kg? i'm a big minnesota fan and simply desperate. - michal, prague
hello for everyone.
in february i wrote a blog about kg
(, so you can check
yesterday i sent a letter "trade 'home-alone' kevin" for kevin mchale (i hope he'll read it).
here's how letters go:
dear mr. mchale,
i would like to give you an advice.
please, for the sake of your employee named kevin garnett and all his fans, trade him before
the 2007 trade deadline.
your organisation is not running well and the future is not bright.
you have to build a new team with new faces.
kevin is a specialist but how can he be happy and optimistic when the second best worker in
your personnel is a guy named ricky davis?
i hope you will consider my advice.
you have got about two months to the deadline.
i look forward to hearing "we decided to trade kevin" from you soon.
all the best
foreigner in cs
personally, i do think kevin will be traded... hmm... maybe for kevin martin plus anything, then the
wolves win the lottery, kevin picks kevin durant (greg oden will not declare after just 5 months with
healed wrist - he's projected to start playing ncaa hoops in january), just before the 2008 season
kevin mc. says "we are contenders", but they will be lost once again and again and again and
again to 2015-2016 season.
then mchale calls to 47-yrs-old sam cassell, 46-yrs-old granddad latrell sprewell, they land in the
starting lineup and the wolves end in the conference finals.
then 'sell & 'well retire, mchale says "we gonna try it this year again", however, after next three
years the career of kevin durant (and kevin martin) will be ruined and eventually mchale will be
but who knows?
and maybe kevin garnett will be grinning at home with his championship trophy.
with who?

any ideas how to stop lebron? - kyle, pardubice
and you're asking ME?!
neither the most knowledgeable nba sharpies can find a solution, nor my fortune-teller knows.
plainly, let him fire from a long distance because his long-range shots are still iffy.
but when i'm thinking about it... just rip off his headband and he'll lost his power.
(or make john paxson a new commissioner.)

what's up with philadelphia? will they win a title anytime soon? - marek, handlova
a mess.
but... even if c-webb is untradeable, even so the sixers should make these trades:
somehow to bring in likes of eric snow, theo ratliff, aaron mckie, dikembe mutombo mpolondo
mukamba jean jacques wamutombo (40), george lynch (36) and tyrone hill (39).
(NOT keith van hornless!)
do you understand what i mean with this?
this would be a reunion of "famous-sixers-2001" squad with ai leading them.
oh, the east is so poor that they would advance to the nba finals and lose 0-4 there.
but, better than nothing, isn't it?
(note: this mission requires sending webber to a vacation and hiring larry brown.)
good luck!

who will win the series between san antonio and dallas? - kevo, martin
are you healthy?!
really, this is the hardest question ever.
i called my fortune-teller today and she said that the seventh game will go into three overtimes.
it's 129-127, spurs, with dallas having a final possession 5.9 secs to go.
nowitzki has the ball, bowen guards, dirk fakes, rolls to the basket, ginobili tries to block him,
unsuccessfully, ball ends in the net, dick bavetta whistles a foul, dirk converts the free throw .3
secs to go.
mavs advance and, hooray, destroy "2001" sixers (see above) 4-0.
and mark cuban is finally on the top.

who is that player ersan ilyasova? his name looks really weird? - jiri, zlin
you didn't hear it?
he, oh damn, SHE is the first woman in the history of nba.
she's a milwaukee bucks forward, #19, and is averaging 4.3 ppg, 2.5 rpg, .6 apg, 32.7 fg% and
13.6 min.
ht: 6' 9", wt: 235, age: 19.
born: 5/15/1987, eskisehir, turkey.
college: none.
drafted: 2005 - round 2 (6th overall) by the bucks.
oh and i suppose she will get married with sheryl swoopes in the summer of 2007.

i'm vastly sad because of my l.a. clippers. can they get away from their slump? - peter, pezinok
it's early and they will be in the playoffs, no doubt.
but not without sam cassell.
if he'll be injured in the second part of the season, the clips should bait gary payton with another
vision of the c'ship.
and even if he'll be lost and worn off, he's the only player who can match cassell's trash-talking.
bet that will be an ultimate help.
(my father will kill me but this is a true story:
he's a fan of the clippers. he's got a principle - "never watch regular season games". as he
says, "i'm not mad to wake up at night and watch. that's for younger ones. and who really
cares about the regular season?". he watches ONLY playoff games, but, hold your breath, only
the games of clippers! i've a lot of amusement with him, asking him: "how many clipper-playoff
games have you seen? one? or two?". last season the clippers played 12 - and this was no fun
for me. now it looks like daddy will sleep soundly the whole 2007 year. and i'm unhappy beacuse
it's gonna change.)

what about washington wizards' chances to go deep into playoffs? thanks for yor job! - sam,

i see them going 0-41 (road) and something around 29-12 (home).
however this record will be enough only for slot no. 9 in the east because new york knicks will
have 30-52 (beating charlotte on the road, what will bring knicks fans to the state of total
delirium. msg will be renamed madison isiah garden).
so, sorry, if you're a wizards fan.
(err... btw, do you know why they're so weak on the road? one sharpie told me that before their
games, they organize a wrestling battle in their locker-room between etan and brendan with
coach eddie jordan serving as a ref. the players are divided to two groups, one rooting for thomas
and the 2nd for haywood. during their fight, e&b spend all wizards' energy-drinks, packs with ice,
bandages and all tools needed for a pro game. the rest of the players chant, cheer for their
respective favorite man, like "kill-him" or "cut-him-hair". and you wonder how they can't win on the
road. who'd be able to play 30+ minutes after kilograms of mins hangin' out wildly? i'm the 2nd
who knows this, so keep it secret... but this is 'the revelation' of the year... but you know what? i
don't believe antonio daniels (my darling due to his san antonio days) is involved in this - he's too
classy. ...just imagine, 'varejao + rasheed' trade to the wizs... better than olympic boxing!! all in
all, espn should broadcast this 'wizards session' instead of wizs' road games. and my father
would watch it live. this would be a DEAL, friends!!)

good morning mr. fics. i'm thrilled by great development of j.r. smith. is he for real? - jeremy,

right now he's better than i expected.
16.9 ppg, 2.7 rpg, 1.9 apg, 45.3 fg% and 29.5 mpg.
very good stats, especially for a guy born in 1985 and without a single college season experience.
but i hope, for his happiness, that he won't become a stephen-jax-iacal kind of player.
and he's very close to be like pacers' stephen in the future.
i do think his character shows a right face when bad times (for the nuggets) come.
and read what he did this season in one game:
during one time-out, smith avoided the nuggets huddle and sat on the bench near the scorer's
table at least 20-feet away from where george karl was dispensing instructions.
that's why the bulls got rid of him - why they got rid of him virtually for nothing - gm paxson &
coach skiles would be with him in the state of war all season long.
oh, that'd be FUN!

p.s.: maybe the league should return to the very roots of professional basketball and surround the
court with an impenetrable cage. (charley rosen on stern's attempts at behavior modification)
p.s.2: there is a reason why i refuse to write off big shot rob.
take sunday night.
just when you think he's got one leg in the grave, he drills a pair of 3-pointers to kill seattle's
comeback. (-johnny ludden)
p.s.3: what you certainly didn't know - golden state has 'oracle arena' and utah has
'energysolutions arena'.
don't tell me you knew it.
p.s.4: if raja bell is bruce bowen after four beers, then who is quinton ross?
bill simmons - "he's bruce bowen after 3 lemonades."
p.s. (updated): oh man, have you seen marko jaric when he entered on the hardwood during
minny's friday game with his #55 jersey back-to-front?
come on, this is grotesque.
let's send him to harlem globetrotters.
(poll: what's better - jaric's back-to-front 55 or mark madsen shooting treys?)

Posted by Foreigner in CS - Dec 1 2006 1:00PM


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