flam funk fun fest aka 4f

thursday, september 7, was a SPECIAL day.
gosh, it was really a day to remember.
we, our basketball community, decided to organise an annual meeting,
part III, of slam dunk competition.
last two yrs, the parts I and II were held, but it wasn't so cool since
participation (both as for slammers and spectators) was, if i gotta
say it, weak.
so, we gave our heads together, shared tasks (to bring a basket, to
get some dunkers, to inform the most possible cattle of people) and
prepared the event.
the start of the action was scheduled at 7:00 am and the end at 10:00
pm with a lighting off lamp posts.
we arrived at "4f court" at 6:45 and by five o'clock there were over
fifty people, including one old man, two dogs, a bunch of kids, a few
"we-want-yo" girls and, of course, a few dozen "at-least-looking-so"
ballers.
in the evening, everyone was so excited that even one 5-yr-old child
didn't wanna go home at 8:00 pm, but you do know the mamas - their
command is supreme.
before the action, i must explain the name of this session, 4f.
flam funk fun fest or "slam dunk fun festival with binge & funk" is
basically a dunking competition, but you may meet there this:
-flam, in our jargon, refers to a binge (the time when you do too much
of a particular activity, espacially eating or drinking alcohol),
which is so immensely popular nowadays.
-funk, refers to a type of modern dance music with a strong rhythm, but
this isn't the only music which you may hear during 4f.
-fun & dunks.
(by the way, "f" can mean female, feminine or f-word (note: used to
refer to the offensive swear word "fuck", to avoid having to say it),
but it is not imporant at all.)
the motto is 'HAVE FUN!'.
the competitors were divided into two groups, north and south, on the
basis of their respective skills (this was accomplished by pre-event
agreement of the jury - and this way the rankings were created,
however, there were given wild cards for a foreign newcomers).
they were scored on a scale of 1-10 and the judges were all those (from
their group) who just didn't compete in a dunk-off, thus one guy could
get 60 pts as a maximum or 6 pts as a minimum.
an important note: the basket was in the high of 8-foot.
in the first round of north, the winners were: jamie aka
make-it-take-it (no. 1) over george aka joystick (8), me aka spur
blogger (5) over thommy aka man of jump (4), yo aka korean fighter (3)
over enrico aka small ball (6) and fran aka fierce dog (2) over pieter
aka double-bang (7).
southern land results: craig aka air lovin' (1) won over valdes aka
jumpin' fish (8), mikey aka flyin' hawk (4) over tony aka real pearl
(5), coco aka kiss it there (6) over jim aka big move (3) and finally
penny aka dunk-lover (2) over marco aka higher jam (7).
we couldn't believe what happened before the conference semis, our
court entertainer coco had to withdraw from action due to his
girlfriend, she wanted to go shopping but then what's up?!
one never know...
in the afternoon, craig was beaten by mikey, what was a little bit of
surprise, but you know off the backboard is less fascinating than
baseline reverse slam.
penny got the free card (saying: *i'll bribe mikey's mother.*), yo
clashed with fran in a tight show (45-43) and eventually came my
fight with mr. jamie, 33-yrs-old punk freak.
his dunk: between the legs... 48.
dunk of mine: tomahawk... ouch!
i badly injured my right forearm (no fracture) on the rim but the jury
gave me 51!
i thought it was more for damages than for effort, probably they were
enchanted by my sweet landing on the ground or they were just yo's
secret agents!
thus (i couldn't really continue, the hand was swollen. five seconds i
thought about making a layup but what if i won?!): the winner of north
- yo - advanced to the 4f finals and he waited on his opponent.
south's showdown was about long flyin', mikey the hawk tried free
throw line and - successfully!
56, the best so far.
penny was upset, he took a 20ft run, did 360 and... oh my goodness,
the ball clanged off the rim and rolled to the corner.
we gave him a total of 48, i regretted him (with the 8), he's so avid
dunk-lover (one fact about him: when raptor vince won in 2000, he was
replying it 67 times per ONE day during a month. true story.).
whoopee, we're in the 4f finals!
in the 4f finals, a finalist has two attempts and that with higher
score is counted (even here are six members of judges' panel).
our friend from (south) korea who knows perhaps 20 words from our
mother tongue, was no underdog - 5-9 man with strong jump - windmill
over the bicycle (and 57!) but the flyin' hawk responded with genuine
"rock the baby" dunk totalling 57!!
and show was reaching the peak -- indeed double-clutch + blindfolded by
korean fighter was ELECTRIFYING with 58 -- the audience was crazy
about it.
in spite of that the top was reached in the end: time 9:30 pm, perhaps
two dozen people watching, mikey put a baby carriage (no baby there)
in the lane, took a run, soared up into the air, over the pram in an
oblique angle with the ball in his right hand, then he moved the rock
behind the back to his left and smoothly spiked it home lefthanded.
!
60!!!
i don't know why but everybody gave him 10.
maybe it wasn't the best dunk in the competition but that dunk had
something that the other ones lacked - a total enchantment.
4f was over and the champion was announced.
however, this will be remembered as a day of 'HAWK-PRAM-FUNK-DUNK'.
after the event, we went to a never-ending night party.
but that's another story.

p.s.: one of the biggest reasons the united states is falling behind is
that other nations have a plan for developing players from grammar
school to the pros. (-mike finger)
p.s.2: [jared jeffries]
a defensive specialist among too many teammates who can't spell "d".
(-charley rosen)
p.s.3: pick 15 players (under the age of 20) who would rather die in an
iraqi dungeon than lose to the likes of puerto rico.
hide them away in some place like colorado springs, colo., and make
them practice six hours a day.
provide meals and housing.
give them enough spending money to buy playstations and blizzards, but
not enough to buy handguns or escalades.
put their faces on wheaties boxes and sell them as patriotic heroes.
they will love it.
being famous at the age of 18 is better than being a millionaire when
you're 28.
but here is the thing: THEY WOULD ALWAYS BE PLAYING TOGETHER. (-chuck
klosterman)
p.s.4: everyone [on the team usa] needs to be a pro and learn the
opponents' names. (-george eddy)
p.s.5: there's no way bruce bowen would have been left off my team usa.
(-marc stein)
p.s.6: let's face it.
the west is so brutally deep (again), with at least 13 teams that can
claim to have visions of the postseason, that injuries will inevitably
decide who makes and misses the playoffs. (-marc stein)
p.s.7: i'm pretty sure kyle korver couldn't even guard kyle from south
park. (-josh whitling)

Posted by Foreigner in CS - Sep 24 2006 5:10PM