Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Superman! Superweekend!!

I can wrap up the whole 2008 All-Star Weekend in just one word: SPECTACULAR! When Dwight Howard did that Superman Dunk, I almost got an orgasm, and that's how I felt during those four days of fun. Thank you, city of NOLA, for one unforgettable weekend. And good luck people of New Orleans, you're the best.

p.s.(special): I'm sticking here an excerpt of an official blog, because this year's slam dunk contest was remarkably cool. all you have to do is read it and then watch those dunks again and again.
9:57 p.m. ET: The Sprite Slam Dunk is here and I am officially ready. I loved all the craziness leading in to this, especially because I was responsible for Gerald Green half-joking about raising the hoop to 13 feet. That was AWESOME.
10:13 p.m. ET: Evidently, Gerald Green's first dunk is called the "Birthday Cake". This contest is going to be amazing. I have no doubts of this.
10:19 p.m. ET: Jamario Moon gets a 46 after a 360 one-hander off-the-bounce. Rudy Gay played it way safe with a sorta reverse windmill and got sevens and eights for a 37. Dwight Howard is up, and he's lining up for the behind-the-backboard jam from his recent video. He missed the first attempt, but Kobe rose and stood stunned just at the idea. Dwight almost ganked the pass, but still made it - with his head on the
FAR SIDE of the backboard. 50. Word.
10:22 p.m. ET: There is a lit candle on the back rim. Gerald Green is attempting to blow out the candle. He gets a bounce pass from Rashad McCants (Whutup Tar Heel?) and throws down a two-hander at full extension. Upon replay review, he ACTUALLY blew it out. That was just surrious. 46 it is. Remember the part where I said this was going to be awesome? I was correct.
10:28 p.m. ET: Rudy Gay gets a pass off the support from Mike Conley and throws it down pretty solidly, but somehow gets a 48. Oookay. Interesting judging. Barkley is livid about this being the second-highest scoring dunk and I kind of agree with him. Jamario Moon is laying down the marker for his video-previewed "beyond-the-free-throw-line" dunk. We shall see how this pans out.
10:31 p.m. ET: Jamario Moon just completed a dunk off-the-bounce from a step inside the free-throw line. Because he put the tape down, the judges only give him a 44. This is the same problem Josh Smith ran into when he did the same, then double-pumped two-handed from the line. Rashad McCants perches atop a ladder, and gently pops the ball into the air. Gerald Green rises, catches it and throws down a windmill with his forehead at the rim. 46, and he takes over the lead.
10:39 p.m. ET: Superman is in the building. Dwight Howard just marked off tape a step into the paint and threw on the cape. He lopes toward the basket, Jameer Nelson launches a high-arcing lob, Howard takes off from the tape and gets so high, he violently throws the ball down into the hoop. I only know this because my eyes didn't blink through all six replays. That was one of the most vicious dunks I've ever seen and Howard never even touched the rim. Dominique Wilkins threw down his scorecard, because barring a huge upset by Gerald Green, he - and everyone else - knows this competition is over. Oh, I should mention Dwight scored a 50.
10:45 p.m. ET: After a few errant ones, Rashad McCants tossed a pass over the top of the backboard and Gerald Green took it off-the-bounce and between-the-legs. And Dwight Howard promptly responds by busting out his off-the-bounce, left-hand-off-the-glass, right-hand tomahawk from the other day's video. Kenny Smith says, *He's not human, he's a video game.* Also, that's another 50. (In theory, because there's no
scoring this round.)
10:46 p.m. ET: Despite being a clear winner assuming he simply makes his dunk, Dwight Howard sets up a mini hoop on the lower right of the backboard, placing a ball atop it. After a missed attempt, Big D picks off that ball and windmills it. Good gosh. If that wasn't a 50, well, whatever. That was amazing. In the interview during the wait for text votes, Gerald Green says Dwight came with some stuff he had never seen before. That, my friends, is an understatement. Dr. J tries to make the case for Green's barefoot dunk being more difficult than people realize and someone in the crowd has the audacity to boo the good doctor. However, he votes for Dwight because the last one sealed it. It's a clean sweep by the judges. Fan results
after the break.
10:58 p.m. ET: In the interview before the announcement, Dwight Howard thanks the fans. Straight class, that guy. He scored 78 percent of the fan vote to win. (Surprise!) As my boy Shapel put it, it wasn't even like Gerald Green was wack - dude came hard. But Dwight was on that next next ish. Phew. I think I need a cold shower.
p.s.: tony parker jokes on the team's beard-growing contest that lasted through the rodeo road trip: *i don't play that game. it's unfair to play a game with timmy and manu when they don't care if they have a beard. so i was protesting that game, because me, after four days, i would have a huge beard. imagine after a month. it would be bad, bad, bad.*
p.s.2: compared to what memphis got for gasol, minnesota made out like bandits in the kg transaction. (-charley rosen)
p.s.3: i loved the fact that san antonio won the shooting stars contest. and that photo of tim & david with becky hammon is a superb comedy act, lol.

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